Hitting the Gym

So, I was back working out today (third time this week!) and I've come to a realization: People treat you differently at a gym when you're pregnant. It's true! It's almost like some kind of pity look, like they're thinking, "Well, good for her! Obviously she's not here for vanity's sake - no point in doing abs, etc. with all that extra flab..."

Yet, interestingly enough, I get totally different reactions from people at the gym about my weight gain. (BTW, why oh why do people think they have free reign to talk about and assess someone's weight out loud while someone is pregnant???)

At the gym, I hear things like, "Oh, you look GREAT!", "You're so tiny", or today, "You're all just belly!". But at work and IRL, people say things like, "Is your due date next WEEK???", "I can't believe you're only X months...", "You'll NEVER make it to your due date!", etc.

So what's the deal? Is it because at the gym I'm wearing tighter clothes so people can actually see my shape more? Are people at the gym being more polite? Or does it have to do with perception? In other words, those at the gym know I'm working out/ taking care of myself so I just appear smaller in their eyes? Certainly an interesting experiment...

Update on cupcake dilemma: I did not win and I did not lose' like Goldilocks, I was "just right". I decided this afternoon to make the cake to celebrate the end of summer (school starts tomorrow). MIL was coming over. I had a normal-sized piece after dinner and the rest is for dessert tomorrow and the next day. It was delicious, and I look forward to my piece tomorrow! Everything in moderation...

The Cupcake Battle

So I'm going through my pantry yesterday and notice I have a cake mix - marble to be exact. Not my favourite, but the craving for cupcakes kicks in immediately. Frantically searching the cupboards some more, I find a big can of chocolate "whipped" icing...temptation kicks in -- do I make cupcakes or not?

Now those who know me know I absolutely, positively love cake - especially cupcakes. They're just so tiny and creamy and sweet, and I adore those crunchy sprinkles on the top. I think emotionally they take me back to happy feelings of celebrations such as birthdays, weddings, etc.

Then the voice inside my head goes something like this...

OMG - I have to make cupcakes. I mean, why not? I haven't had cake/cupcakes in months! I deserve it. The house will smell sooooo good too. But wait!... I won't be able to control myself once I make them. (This is the reason I rarely bake; I usually eat half the batch.) I'll eat at least 5 today and then, who knows tomorrow? If I don't make them, I won't be tempted.

But wait yet again! My kids would have so much fun helping me with them! I'd really be making them for the children! And I could just have one or two and then bring them into work...

Who am I kidding???? I'd be making them for ME! I'd probably eat at least 10 of them myself. DO NOT MAKE CUPCAKES! DO NOT MAKE CUPCAKES!

At this point, I take the cake mix and icing and put it into the back of the cupboard - out of sight, out of mind, right?

So far I'm winning the battle, but the cupcakes may still win the war...

But I'm only 6 months pregnant...???

OK, so I haven't had the baby yet. Not really even close. But I've already gained the "recommended" 35 lbs at least. Exactly. Hmmm...this doesn't bode well for the final trimester...

Let me give you a brief history...My husband and I struggled for years to have a family. Our first child, a wonderful son who is now almost 7, is adopted. With intense medical intervention, we were able to get pregnant with #2 which resulted in our beautiful daughter, almost 4. This past spring, after an amazing tropical vacation, we were SHOCKED to learn we were pregnant again and due in December. Wow.

When I was pregnant back in 2005, I had a "no-holds barred" attitude...If this was the only time in my life I was going to be pregnant, then by golly, I was going to ENJOY getting fat! No more worries about the scale, sucking in my stomach, exercise, etc. Plus, it didn't help that I was always stressed about losing the baby and, therefore, ate because of that as well. If I wanted a donut, why not two? Ice cream? EVERY DAY! Carbs became my best friend...

I began the pregnancy at 140lbs, up about 10 lbs from my usual weight. By my due date I weighed in at a whopping 210lbs!!! Up 70 lbs from the start (yet really up 80 lbs from my normal weight...) Let me tell you, it takes WORK to gain that much in pregnancy - eating anything, while not exercising in the slightest, became a full-time job:)

After my daughter was born, it took a lot of discipline to get back down to a healthy weight. Had I not dieted and exercised, I probably would have stabilized around the 155 mark. However, I was determined to get healthy again and after about 8 months, I was down to about 140, but I still wasn't where I wanted to be. After a lot of trial and error over the next couple of years, I finally found what worked for me and got down to a very comfortable and sustainable 130 lbs, size 4. Ironically, this is when I got pregnant again...and my body reacted accordingly. I swear my belly expanded the minute that plus sign appeared on the pee stick.

In my first pregnancy, it was UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable carrying around that extra weight and I certainly would never recommend it. While I don't intend on gaining *quite* that much weight again, I think my fat-cells are allergic to pregnancy. I eat fairly healthy yet still allow myself treats; but am still nowhere near those "skinny moms" who carry that "cute little belly" around. Sigh.

So here I am. 37 years old. Already 37 lbs heavier. A little worried about what this final trimester will bring. But I'm also up for the challenge of getting back to where I was once baby is here...

If you've read this far, thanks for listening. And stay posted:)